Here’s the thing, I like to think I’m pretty confident. Those who know me say I can easily talk to just about anyone about just about anything. So, why oh why, am I becoming more and more anxious about the opinions of those around me, to the point where it’s actually prohibiting me from getting out there and doing the things I really want to do.
There’s one thing I’ve been feeling nervous about doing recently, purely because I’m scared of how people will react. Vlogging. Now, before anyone rolls their eyes and thinks “another millennial, another blog, another wannabe vlogger”, I get it. Everyone and their cousin’s cat is at it. And so what? I think it’s amazing that we now have another way in which we can document our lives. Who doesn’t look back through old photo albums or watch old home movies and just feel pure joy, rediscovering little moments which would have otherwise been forgotten? I’m all for it, we can always choose what to share, there’s always an option on any recording device to press “delete”, so really, I can’t see how any harm can be done. I have always made little scrapbooks, filled photo albums shoved under the coffee table to look at later, took out my camera to record special moments, so why not share it all with the people who care about me? (I’m sure there’s a few…) Well, mostly because once something goes online… you can’t always take it back down before a few others see it too, those are of course “the others” with all their opinions. Gah.
If I’m honest, I can’t pinpoint what originally attracted me to watching videos about the ordinary details of peoples lives, it sounds strange phrasing it like that, but that’s what it is after all. Perhaps I like the relatability of someone, just like me, talking so openly about the highs and lows of life, a video diary. As I’ve got older I’ve noticed it’s also become very much a source of inspiration (Gosh, I watch quite a lot of homeware/fashion hauls…). I’ve wanted to vlog for quite a few years now. I can remember starting to watch Vloggers just before I set off to University, so around 2012, and thinking, oh I could do this! I should do this, I’m heading off to London, it’ll be amazing. And then the fear set in. What will people think or, worse, say? I come from a small town. I’ve seen, first hand, how fast news travels. I strongly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I believe even more so that unless it’s a nice one, it’s best kept to yourself. Of course, not everyone believes the same and I’m sure there’ll be people who think “Who do you think you are”? I shouldn’t care, but I do. So how do I get past that?!?!
A beautiful friend of mine who is infinitely more brave and confident than I am has started a YouTube channel and she really bloody enjoys it. Her advice? Just do it. And when you feel comfortable sharing, share. Until then just keep it a little secret. I know she’s right, but I’m still nervous, I wish so much that I wasn’t. I am in desperate need of growing a pair! Maybe the first step is to share The London Chapters.. but after a year of this being my little secret even that feels strange. Still, I think it’s best to start somewhere.
Wow, what a ramble. Being a Nervous Nellie makes me waffle on even more than ususal! Is there anything you really want to do but you’re holding back because you’re worried about what other people will say?